Prophetic Pennies

Around comes Friday night: prayer walking time. And everyone in the house has this gloom over them. So before its time to start I go into the prayer room, and ask God for some fresh hope, some rejuvenation for our team. While I'm there I find these dreams. Dreams that we wrote almost at the beginning of the year. Dreams for a change, dreams for hope, dreams for revival and salvation. And I prayed that God would restore these dreams in our hearts, and that God would bring them about in our town. And by the time prayer walking was coming, I was stoked. Stoked to see what God was gonna do tonight, because I knew it was gonna be amazing. And I made Steve and Mike read out their dreams too, and the atmosphere changed, all of a sudden we were excited, excited to see this new work God was gonna do. And then that fresh hope that I had just prayed for, Steve brought it. He had this idea about pennies, and by now I've learned that the crazier an idea sounds, the more likely to be brilliant it is. He read us the passage from Luke 15, about the woman with only ten coins to her name, who loses one. She searches and searches everywhere for her lost coin until she finds it, and when she does, she is so excited she tells all her neighbors and friends and celebrates with them. And just like that woman with the coin, thats how God celebrates when we come to him.

So Steve, he finds like a 100 pennies, and we prayed over them. We prayed that the pennies would be symbols of hope, and light in this town of despair. We prayed that God would use them in ways we didn't understand. We were inspired to see God change this town, to see God change Corringham. And so with a bag full of change each, we went out. We laid pennies in front of gambling shops, churches and youth hangouts, in front of the park, on benches, down alley ways, on top of rubbish bins and in pizza boxes. Anywhere we wanted the symbol of Gods' hope to be we put a penny. A heart shaped row on Penny's next to the dodgy pub, and a smiley face down a dark alley. Wherever we walked we prayed Gods' hope would be, we prayed that people's veils would be removed, that they would see God clearly. Because we knew that if they could see God, actually see what was going on, there would be no stopping the revival in this town.

As we laid the pennies, something awesome happened. We got to tell people about Jesus. Because yeah, walking around on a Friday night laying pennies on the streets is weird, and people want to know whats going on. So they asked, and we told them. We told them, that sometimes this town is dark, and despairing, but we're praying that hope would fill it, we told them that we care enough about them, and this town, to pray. And we gave them pennies, to put in their houses, purses, schools. Maybe they will forget about the pennies, but my hope is that when they see random pennies lying around, that they will remember the prayers that we prayed, and they will remember that their is hope in Christ.

We got to pray for healing, for restoration and hope. For individual people, for the rough and tough crowd who act so cool, we prayed for those boys, and they were actually keen for it to happen. Man! Isn't God good! He can do immeasurably more than we can ask think or imagine, so I'm gonna ask for Corringham!

Corringham

I have no words to describe the way my heart has broken for Corringham. The girls showed up at our house today, and we just got to sit on our couches with hot chocolate and chat. The boys come round all the time, but it was so nice to have the girls today. It wasn't anything special, it was just the fact that they felt comfortable here. They felt comfortable just being, its like we've hit a new stage, and I hate the fact that I don't get to be around to see it out. I want to see them in love with Jesus so bad it hurts. And I know God is going to provide someone else who has a heart to see them serving God, but sometimes its easier to say you know something than believe it. I just have to trust that God loves these girls so much more than I ever will, and so He will therefore bring someone into their lives who will love on them and show them Jesus. Because His desire is for them to know him.

Jumping

I don't know where God wants me, and I don't know where He's gonna take me. That place of the unknown is a tough one. Its a place we all face. Trust sounds easy when its all in theory, but then the reality comes and we have to take the leap of faith. We jump off those steep cliffs and trust that God is gonna catch us. But man that time in the middle from the land to His hands, man that time is scary, and its exciting and its awesome. But man it takes a whole lotta courage to jump. I'm scared to jump. Because my mind keeps telling me I'm gonna jump off the wrong cliff at the wrong time. Where next? The dirty streets of Boys Town is where my heart wants to be, but I don't know if thats the plan. Do I get to stay in Corringham, or should I move on to something thats a little more out of my comfort zone? Is it Kansas City or Madison? Or maybe just right at home in Austin. All these decisions lie in front of me and yet somehow I know that when the time comes to make that decision Gods' just gonna do it. And it won't be me jumping off the unknown cliff free-falling... it will be God guiding, and it will be him jumping with me, and He'll be the one with the parachute. Cuz he says He's got plans for me. And he says they're gonna be good. He says He loves me, and He's gonna provide for me. He says do not be afraid.

So Lord you show me the way. If you want me to stay, well then you kick open that door, and if you want me to go, well then show me that way too. I'm jumping Lord, jump with me. And on this journey through the air, Lord teach me to follow your truth. Teach me what faith and trust and belief are. Cuz I wanna walk with you. I wanna be like Moses, and I don't wanna move unless your moving with me. Ok God here I go, you take the controls. I'm letting you decide the destination. Cuz your plans are better than mine. Your ways higher than my ways.

Lions and Tigers and VISAS oh my!

Just a quick update to all my faithful prayer warriors out there. I love it here. I love all the things God has used me to do. I love all the things He has done in me. I don't want to leave. Unfortunately that decision isn't really up to me. I have all faith that if God wants me here, He can keep me here with a snap of His fingers.

You see as the end of February my visa is up and I have to come. I can't come back in on a visitor visa again, because immigration is so uptight. Basically God is going to have to provide a visa somehow. There are some options that we're working on, but its a pretty scary time for me. I really do feel like I'm supposed to be in Corringham. So for the time being please pray that God will give me a way to stay. I really feel like this is where I'm supposed to be.

Thanks for your support :)

Treasure Hunting

I thought it was cooky, and weird, and not something I would ever do. And then I did it... and my world was rocked. Pray, then write everything you hear in your head onto a piece of paper: because you have the mind of Christ, and therefore you can believe that these "clues" are from him. "hot pink, black clothes, brown hair, blue eyes, sad..." Those were my clues. I didn't know what they meant. But thats what I thought I heard God saying. So half in faith and half because I thought it couldn't hurt to play along I wrote them down. I was skeptical. I was afraid. To walk onto a street full of the kids we know, full of the kids we talk to everyday, the kids who laugh at you so easily, we were about to show them a piece of paper, describing them, a piece of prophesy. But then something amazing happened. Those clues we wrote down... they were true. Louis was wearing everything on Mike's list, and not only did we get to tell him that God loved him, and that God was thinking about him and wanted to talk to him, not only did we get to do that, but he was so freaked out by "God stalking" him, that he told everyone else. Then suddenly there were fifteen kids around us, all wanting to see the paper. All shocked. And it was incredible. Right there on that paper they saw God moving. Then I met Holly, brown hair, blue eyes, black clothes and a hot pink bag... and she was sad. I got to pray with her, and tell her about Jesus' love. I can't even describe it! How incredible to see God move so intensely. We try day after day to love on these kids but getting them to sit and listen to the gospel is hard, almost impossible, but because Angelique stepped out in faith and made us move, we got to show them Jesus. I'll never forget the looks on their faces. The shock. Andy the policeman, John in the bar with a son named Harry, Holly, Louis, James... God knew they would be there. And He sent us to reach them. The stories from that night are incredible, but we didn't do it: we just had to be available. He did the rest.

Life goes on

Stop. Look. Process... beautiful words, that I don't do much of lately. If your not careful life goes bye like a speeding train; the scenery outside may be beautiful, but you would never know. I've had the most incredible two and a half months of my life. I've seen God move in me and in this community. I've learned about His character, about community and hospitality, about living in fellowship with believers and having your own relationship with Christ at the same time. I've been challenged to step it up, to not say now I'm doing missions and now I'm just living, but to be constantly living as a missionary, that missions is my life. Now... I'm processing it all. I read in "Velvet Elvis" yesterday that "life will go on without you," that its a form of pride not to take a sabbath. Sometimes we think that if we're not constantly serving and doing it won't get done, but the truth is, thats its Christ doing, we're just the vessels, so we can trust that when he told us to rest, it was for a purpose, and He can use anyone to get the things He wants done, done. How good is it to know that life goes on without us. Of course we all have responsibilities, things we must wake up and do e v e r y d a y... and thats good, God created us to do. But not at the expense of our relationship with Him. He wants more than anything for us to be with Him, in love with Him, captivated by Him. If we don't take the time to rest in Him, He usually forces us to. Whether thats making you sick, taking your car away, losing your job, or just canceling your plans, God will do whatever He has to to get hold of you. And I'm so glad He does. How beautiful it is to stand in His presence.

Justice...

We're sitting around the kitchen table at home talking about what justice is and then the next thin you know we're in Leeds sitting around a very different kitchen table, in Carmella's kitchen, who's raised five boys on her own on a government estate (think the projects or what a bunch of people living on welfare together would look like.) And in the middle of this depressing, depressed place, she has built the most beautiful garden. Its like she has grown life back into the place, and when you pass by her home you can't help but feel a sense of hope. These people are living in a circular depression. Generation after generation is caught up in receiving hand outs from the government and not working, and not having the ability to break free. We want to think up a way to bring life into the place. Carmella asked us to help plant a garden, which seems like a nice way to throw some color into the place. I mean we're only here for a week so doing relational things with the community is difficult. The people are very protective so trying to do stuff with the kids gets tricky. Me and Sara got yelled at for starting a game of tag with some of the kids on a bit of grass because the parents didn't know who we were. Which on some levels its good because it means they are looking out for their kids and not so depressed and caught up in drugs that they don't care.

The word justice hasn't ever felt real to me before. But how can you come to a place with so many needy people and not desire for justice to be carried out? How can you not desire for equality and dignity. I don't know how God is going to use us here, i don't know what He wants to teach us, but I do know that we are going to walk away from here different people. That we will care more for the poor, for those in need. God says he is just, and therefore He must desire that we care for His people who are in need. So my prayer is that the Lord will show me how to care.

All I can do is pray...

I don't know how to write it all. Even if you were sitting right here I don't think I could explain it. Here. Life. All the things God is doing in me and speaking in me and doing through me. I don't know how to explain it all. Its good. Its hard. My heart is broken for these people. Its the classic small town nothing to do and Dads gone so why don't we just drown out the boredom and pain with drugs and alcohol. Sometimes the cup of tea and small talk just don't seem like enough. But its all we can do. We pray whenever we can. All I can do is pray. They need Jesus. End of story. Without Him their lives have no purpose, they have no hope. I wish I could make them see that.

Life

So reading through my blog I've noticed that I haven't been very good at telling ya'll what I'm actually doing here. So I'm gonna tell you a little about the daily life of this week and next.

Sunday: Because we are from all different places and aren't associated with any particular church or denomination, we have this awesome ability to go to any church and talk about the Boiler room and what it represents and try to get people from all different churches involved in it. Most of the Boiler Room community goes to TCF (Thurrock Christian Fellowship), but they would like to see all different people involved. For the past two weeks, and next two weeks, we're at the Baptist church. The Baptist church actually owns the house that we rent, so its pretty cool to get to know them. They've actually asked us to lead the children's church next Sunday, so I've got that whole lesson planned out and we will be leading it. Pray that it goes well, my lesson is on Missions, and we're gonna tell the story of Paul, and then talk to them about why we're here doing missions and what Gods been doing in our lives. I'm excited to see God work in that, and hopefully we will be able to get the Baptist more involved in community outreach.

Monday: On Monday mornings we have prayer at 217, the Boiler House, and then we spend some time cooking, cleaning and preparing for all the projects we do. I am currently working on a lot of awesome projects. We have a week of prayer coming up the 19th- 26th of October, and Transit is heavily involved in the planning of it, we are organizing and leading worship. I made the rotor for it, and we are redecorating the prayer room. Since the Boiler rooms in Guilford and Reading are having prayer rooms the same week that are focused on Human Trafficking, I thought it would be cool if we allowed that to be a focus in ours as well. So I'm doing some research and gonna make a poster on it, and maybe talk about it at one of the first worship sessions. Also on Mondays we have God Story teaching, which is basically going through the Bible in these ten months that we are here, but in such a way that we can better understand how the whole Bible relates and give us the ability to teach it to others. This week Alana taught us the story of Isaac and Jacob, its pretty cool to get other peoples perspectives on the Bible.

At night we had house meal, which is where anyone who is part of the community can come to a dinner and we all just sit together and eat and enjoy getting to know one another and just hang out. The Trannies had to cook the dinner, so me and Sara decided to make tacos. I was a little nervous because I had never made homeade salsa before, and the ingredients they have here are so different from home, but there was none left and people asked for my recipe, so that made me really happy :)

Tuesday: Morning prayers from 8-9 at the boiler house. Then what we do on Tuesdays rotates from week to week. Last week we did besom and worked on this single mother, Sam's house. We are completely redecorating her house, so we spent all of last week cleaning the walls and preparing them to be painted, and then next week we will hopefully get to finish sanding and start painting. I'm really excited to get to know her and bless her. She just seems like she is in desperate need of Jesus' love. This Tuesday we had more teaching. Andy Freeman came down from Reading and talked to us about Community and the Trinity. I had never thought about how much the two relate, but its so true that the Trinity is the ultimate example of what community should look like. It was such an amazing talk. He really is an incredible guy, I just wanted to soak up all his knowledge, I could sit all day and here what God has been doing in Reading.

Wednesday: Study day! We have morning prayers from 9-10, then I pray from 11 to 12 for my own personal prayer slot. Then I met with Anne, my amazing mentor who is just so wise. Basically Wednesdays are days to catch up on all our reading (Which there is ALOT of, I'm currently reading 4 books), and to spend some time with God and just relax in him and seek out what He is doing and just let Him speak to us. Most Wednesday nights we try to have people over, its our hospitality night. This week we had Tony and Lina from Kosova over. They are full time missionaries there, and in a nation of two million people, less the 1% are Christians. They do work with the gypsies that basically have nothing, and they are the pastors of a church. I think it would so incredible to go out some time and work with them for a summer.

Thursday: Bar N Bus day! We have morning prayers from 8-9 at the boiler house, and then we try to clean and take care of house stuff. Yesterday I spent a couple of hours preparing for the evening. Us girl Trannies are planning a girl's night for the Bar N Bus girls on Sunday. So Ange and I made up the flyers and permission slips and I called people to get everything set up. I am just so excited for this event! We're all gonna share our testimonies and give them time to ask us questions, but mainly we're just gonna do nails and girly things and let the Holy Spirit have time to move. I don't know exactly what God wants to do there, but i know its gonna be something awesome! When we handed out the invitations, they were all so excited, and all said they were coming, I don't know if they will, but I hope they do. I've been praying for them so much, I just really love these girls. I got to have my first deep conversation where they really told me about their lives last night, so I'm feeling really encouraged. I know God wants to use us to bless them and show them His love.

Today (Friday): We do morning prayers differently on Fridays, we usually prayer walk through the town and just allow Him to speak to us. We all go off in our own directions and just pray for whatever God is calling us to pray for. Its pretty cool :) Then from 12:30 until like 3 we are at Palmers College, which is like high school, and we just hang out with the kids during their lunch hour, build some relationships, chat, hopefully pray for them. Not sure what God wants us to be doing there yet, but its where we're at right now, and I know Gods gonna use us somehow. Friday nights we do prayer walking through the town again, but its more purposeful. We leave half the team back at the house to pray, and the other half goes out and prays for people in the town and just looks for opportunities to affect the town. Last week I stayed back and prayed with Jo and it was just such a beautiful time with God. But I think I'll go out this week and see what God does :)

Saturday: Not sure what I'll be up to tomorrow, but Saturdays are our free days. Last week me, Sara and Jo drove into Brighton since everyone else was in Amsterdam for the 247 prayer conference and we wanted to do something fun too. I think I might go up to the mall and buy some stuff for the Girl's Night on Sunday. Not sure what else.

So there is my very long blog on what my life here is like. Its pretty great, we are constantly involved in the community, and we have fun doing it.

Hot pink umbrellas

I'm experiencing my first week of awful English weather... it really is as awful as everyone says. Apparently the changes in air pressure can cause headaches, which has become very apparent to me! So its been a bit of a frustrating week, what with this cold I can't seem to shake and the headaches, but at the same time God has been amazing. I went for a walk the other day in an attempt to shake the frustration that seemed to be looming. And I just starting to sing and cry out to God, but my body was just filled with despair, and everywhere I looked was gray and gloomy and sadness. My heart was so heavy. I began to cry, and ask God why He brought me here to this place, Lord how can I be used here, I said, how do you use someone so inadequate, so filled riddled with depression? Then in the midst of all this dreariness I looked up and saw a school girl with a hot pink umbrella and a daisy yellow scarf. And it was like God was saying its ok, I'll provide for you, even if that provision is a little bit of color. And I smiled. My tear streaked face felt the glow of Christ's love. It was such a precious moment of truth. Just to know that He cares for the small needs. I am so blessed. So blessed to have been called to this place, so blessed with an awesome community of believers that surround me daily, and truly care about me, and so blessed to get to serve a community of people who need Jesus. Who knows where God will call me after this, but the awesome thing is that wherever that is, I know He will protect me.